


A New Year Once More

by Hajimehinata-kun (KrystieT)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Gen, The Hinata Project
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-27 20:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17169128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrystieT/pseuds/Hajimehinata-kun
Summary: The musings of a boy born on New Year's Day.





	1. Hinata Hajime, The Student

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Hinata Project (the-hinata-project.tumblr.com), a Hajime Hinata and Izuru Kamukura Appreciation/Birthday Celebration Week.

Why did he have to be born on January first?

Being born on New Year’s Day was always something that brought Hinata some discomfort. Having a birthday on such a well-known date _worldwide_ meant that no one would forget, but usually whenever he mentioned his birth date, they’d look at him with disbelief.

 _“You were born on New Year’s?”_ they’d ask almost every time, as if they were expecting someone a lot more... _interesting_ , to have been born at the start of the year.

It’s not that he blamed them, really.

He’d grown up expecting to be someone special because of it. He was their _hope_ , his parents said. He was their new beginning, and they named him “Hinata Hajime,” “ _to face a new day_ ,” because of it. He never asked what their life was like before they had him ( ~~he got close once, but the look on his mother’s face was enough to make him change the subject~~ ), but it was clear that, somehow, they believed he’d be someone special, too.

There were so many expectations of him. He definitely tried to meet them, but with every time getting second best ( ~~if he was even able to _reach_ that high in the first place~~), his confidence in himself wore thinner.

He was stubborn, though.

He couldn’t stop trying, not yet.

His parents always believed in him ( ~~they shouldn’t~~ ) and they said they’d support him no matter what, because he was their _hope_ ( ~~they really don’t mean that. I’m _useless-_~~ ).

He’d been hoping ( ~~wishing desperately every _day_~~ ) that someone would see _something_ in him that no one else had before ( ~~even him~~ ).

He’d heard about them- the Ultimates, that is. And who hadn’t? He didn’t know the details about how they were chosen as students at Hope’s Peak Academy ( ~~he was too afraid if he found out, he would _know_ he’d never make it-~~), and he didn’t care ( ~~ _HAHAHAHAHA…_~~ ). Even if he wasn’t chosen ( ~~he always knew he’d never be able to make it~~ ), he’d still find a way in. There was a new program Hope’s Peak Academy had, and he’d already sent out his application.

His parents were working on his birthday because the overtime for New Year's would help in his school fees once he officially began, and once he'd made it, they wouldn't even have to pay the fees anymore. Maybe the school would even give that money back once they saw the mistake they made. ( ~~His parents were too good to him to tell him no, even if it did strain them financially a little more, and they had to be at work more often. He was used to them not being around, anyways, so a little less family time was… it was _fine_~~.)

This was his _last chance_. If he could at least, at _least,_ enroll into Hope’s Peak Academy, then he’ll be _that_ much closer. They’d see it! He was definitely meant for something more! _Definitely!_

…

Definitely.


	2. Kamukura Izuru, the Ultimate Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A boy contemplates his own existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made for The Hinata Project, Day 2: Izuru Kamukura
> 
> https://the-hinata-project.tumblr.com/

It was pointless, what he was doing. And even before doing this, he knew he’d feel nothing.

Nothing except boredom, that is.

He knew the day he was officially brought into this world as _Kamukura Izuru_. Had things been different, he knew the scientists would have celebrated that anniversary. It was only a few months ago since he’d been made into the perfect person, talented in every meaningful way.

That day held no personal significance to him.

Since his creation, the schedule was the same every day: release him from the room they called his, test different talents, record the successful outcomes of the tests, return him to the room to await his next test. Each and every day, he proved to them how meaningless their tests were to the man who could do everything, but each and every day, they wanted more proof of this simple fact.

How boring.

These pests decided to create a god to prove that they could. They use him to stroke their own ego rather than for the sake of the “Hope” they claimed he had.

And then they suffered for it. And they will suffer more for it.

Junko Enoshima, the Ultimate Analyst, had enticed him with the promise of feeling something _other_ than boredom. And she _had._ That is not to say the experience was pleasant, but even an unpleasant experience was better than the nothing that surrounded his entire being.

She orchestrated the entire event, _The First Mutual Killing Game_ , as she called it, with another already completely planned out for the near future. She’d pinned responsibility on him, as he’d already expected when she told him to stick around and watch the Despair. It didn’t matter in the end, because for the first time, he felt _something_ . He felt _fear_ for his own life.

He had once believed himself incapable of fearing death, since death was not something that would come to him without him wishing it. And it was pointless to erase his own existence.

But Enoshima’s _gift_ , it made him think about _him_ , the talentless nobody who he replaced. The desperate fool who no longer exists. The one _he_ erased.

And so, as the school tried to contain the rioting Reserve Course Students, who were secretly organized by Enoshima, he’d easily sneaked into the Steering Committee’s office. From the first drawer under the main desk, he easily found the records of his Other, Hinata Hajime.

The profile was far more detailed than even profiles of the Ultimates. In it were details of Hinata’s family life- Hinata was a single child born to working parents. According to the financial records from tax reform sheets the school was able to acquire, likely though black money, Hinata was in an average, middle-class family, and they wouldn’t have been in any financial trouble had Hinata attended any of the other local schools. But of course, this school’s tuition for it’s Reserve Course students were very expensive. The family would have been in debt for quite some time if they actually had to pay for his tuition.

Hinata himself was, as expected, a nobody. Just another cog in this lifeless machine called society. He had no trophies to bring home, and no outstanding achievements. He was decent in every subject, and physically average as well. There was also a mental evaluation of the boy provided by the school counselor of his previous high school (and he and his parents signed a form attached to it allowing the school to have this), and it is noted that he isolated himself by deterring his peers from interacting with him with a self-important attitude, which furthered his own lack of confidence, and spurred more desperation to prove himself.

It was obvious why they chose Hinata as their best candidate. He was a perfectly average student who clearly exhibited a lack of self-confidence, harbored extremely high ambitions he had no right to have, and was exceedingly desperate to reach those unachievable goals. His desperation was further backed by parents who lacked the spine to crush his dreams even in the face of financial debt just to make their son “happy.” They would thus overwork themselves, not even being able to spend much time as a family together, and furthering that feeling of isolation even when _supposedly_ supporting him.

With a participant like that, not too many would question him suddenly “dropping out,” and his parents ignorance would allow them to believe that their son had died, even when the best scientists of the world “did their best to prevent it.”

But he didn’t come to read Hinata’s profile just to confirm what he already knew.

Right there under his name, on the front page, was the birth date of Hinata Hajime.

January 1, XXXX. Hinata Hajime would have been 17 years old now.

He was able to figure out he’d been born sometime in the beginning of the year, and using a bit of luck, he already predicted it was on the first day of the year. This only confirmed it.

But, just as Kamukura thought, _knowing_ the birthday of Hinata Hajime helped him about as much as knowing the date of _Kamukura Izuru’s_ creation. He felt no personal attachment to that date, either. And, while some may have found it interesting that Hinata’s birthday landed on the first day of the Gregorian calendar, Kamukura thought nothing of it. Putting pointless emphasis on the start of another year was boring.

This fruitless trip was a waste of his time. At the very least, he no longer felt any drive to continue his investigation on Hinata Hajime.

He left the file in the office, not even bothering to place it back. This part of the school would go up in flames soon, as would anyone who cared that someone broke into the Steering Committee’s office.

He returned to that labyrinth of a basement where Enoshima hid him to the girl’s incessant questions on where he had been, and if he found anything interesting. She shouldn’t have bothered.

She already knew he found nothing of the sort, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this was going to be a series of drabbles, but this one got much longer XD  
> I'd appreciate kudos or comments! :D


	3. Hinata Hajime, the Ultimate ???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A boy recalls the happier side of his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very slight canon divergence- Hinata and the others spend a few days before Monokuma shows up. Otherwise, this all proceeds like normal!
> 
> Minor appearance: Komaeda Nagito  
> -he's not the main focus, though, so I'm not gonna add him to the character list!

Blue sky… White clouds…

White sandy beach… Crystal blue ocean…

The sun’s rays beaming down on him… soft, tropical wind brushing his skin…

It was simply _too_ unreal! This sort of thing happens in movies, in comics, in games… how was Hinata supposed to just dismiss the fact that one second, they were in Hope’s Peak Academy, and the next, the walls of the classroom collapsed like a movie set and they were suddenly on a tropical island in the middle of the sea?

Usami, their supposed homeroom teacher, had described it as “an island free from other people and danger.” She pretty much _kidnapped_ him and his classmates and expected them to take part in a “heart-throbbing school trip” where they were to spend the time here relaxing and nourishing hope ( ~~whatever “nourishing hope” was supposed to mean~~ ).

It was hard to process that he apparently was going to fulfill his _dream_ of being a Hope’s Peak Academy student, only for it to be delayed by an impromptu field trip. Not only that, but he didn’t even know _how_ he got accepted into the school. But he was here, with the other Ultimates, so that meant he _had_ to be one, too, or it wouldn’t make any sense.

He was thankful that Komaeda was nice enough to stick around after he passed out and eased him into this situation. They’d walked around and he helped introduce Hinata to all of the other students. It was still not an easy pill to swallow, that he was _here_ instead of at Hope’s Peak, but knowing there were others in this situation as confused as he was ( ~~even if they were all taking this _considerably_ better~~) had reassured him a little, and he set aside his uneasiness.

For now, he was just going to do the same thing as them and try to let loose a little.

He had invited Komaeda out just to walk around the islands, and now they were at the beach, listening to the crashing waves and sitting under the cool shade of a tree.

They were looking through the student profiles when his own profile came across. He was gonna skip it, when Komaeda pointed out Hinata’s birthday being on New Year’s Day. It’s not something Hinata would have wanted to discuss before, but he was an Ultimate now, right? There was no reason to be hesitant, then.

New Year’s was always a big event in Japan, so having a birthday on that day had always got people surprised, and Komaeda would of course be no exception. Apparently he wanted to know what it was like, so Hinata told him.

He didn’t like it when people got surprised about his birthday being on New Year’s. He gets _why_ , of course, but it doesn’t make it any less awkward for him. Someone born on New Year’s sounds like they would be a very important person, right? It made him self-conscious.

Komaeda, of course, reassured him.

“Hinata-kun shouldn’t be self-conscious about his birthday! After all, Hinata-kun is an Ultimate, and surely must have a spectacular talent!”

He then changed the direction of the topic, knowing Hinata would look down on himself for not being able to _remember_ his Ultimate talent, and asked how Hinata celebrated his birthday with New Years.

So Hinata told him.

Hinata had fond memories, for the most part. His parents were busy most of the time, but he knew they honestly cared about him. ( ~~They felt guilty about it, but with their jobs the way they were, taking days off were rarely an option.~~ ) His family was small, his grandparents passed away, and he had no aunts or uncles in his family, but just being able to have some time with his parents was a treasure in itself. That is what he liked about his birthday falling on New Year’s Day ( ~~because it meant that his parents were not going to be forced to work that day.~~ )

The way they celebrated both the New Year and his birthday was rather simple. It followed the same traditions as New Year, plus some of the normal birthday traditions everyone went through.

Early in the morning of his birthday, his parents would wake him up. They wished him a Happy Birthday before wishing him a New Year ( ~~the little gesture meaning so much since they put him before the holiday, unlike everyone else who would forget at first, then wish him later~~ ). As he got out of bed, they would hand him his otoshidama bukuro with a hug.

They all dressed up nicely in their traditional clothes and walked to the local temple. Stands on the streets by the temple were preparing themselves for a very busy day, the sun not even out yet. Then, once they reached the temple, they would wait until the sunrise, watching from the top floor. It was always pretty chilly, so they’d often end up huddling together as they waited. Watching the sunrise always felt more special on New Year’s. Inside the temple, they’d pray for happiness in the new year, buying o-mamori for good luck.

When they exited the temple, they would buy from the now-open stalls outside for lunch (his favorite was picking up a plate of kusamochi, and they’d save a plate for after dinner). After browsing through the stalls and taking all the pictures his mother could take before his father and him got fed up, they would walk home, where they’d finally give him his birthday presents, taking pictures of him opening them up despite his own embarrassment. His mother would then banish him and his father from the kitchen to cook up a traditional dinner, while he and his father would watch television programs, usually some comedy routines.

Dinner itself was a happy event. His mother wasn’t perhaps the _best_ cook, but it was still special to him. ( ~~She usually never had time to cook, his father making the quick meals or getting some fast food after work. Hajime learnt how to cook simple meals from his father later on, especially when his father started taking the longer shift, leaving him to eat dinners alone~~ ). Then after dinner, they’d have the last of the kusamochi and Hajime would cut a small cake as they sang ( ~~no one in the house really cared for very sweet desserts, but it wouldn’t feel like a birthday without cake~~ ).

New Year’s day… his birthday… it was probably the one holiday he looked forward to the most. ( ~~On that day more than any other time of the year, he was reassured that his parents cared about him.~~ )

For some reason, as he was telling Komaeda about how his family celebrated both the New Year and his birthday, he was feeling very sad… and Komaeda noticed it as well. But he shouldn’t be feeling sad, right? His parents were fine, probably proud he was finally able to get into Hope’s Peak Academy. And he’d already accepted that his parents were busy most of the time, anyways, right?

Komaeda suggested that maybe he was homesick? It’s only been about two days since they’d come here, but… maybe he is right. After all, he’s never really gone out of town before, and this was _definitely_ a new experience for him, being on a tropical island ( ~~ignoring the strangeness of _how_ they apparently got here, of course~~).

Once they were able to start school again, he’d see them anyways. For now, he was just going to enjoy his time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little more painful to write for some reason, but I finished it! Did some researching on New Year's Day in Japan, and it made me want to go there XD  
> Please leave a kudo or a comment, I would appreciate it!!


	4. Hinata Hajime, the Awakened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A boy is preoccupied with thoughts. A birthday is not so important at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Day 4 of the Hinata Project  
> -Minor Character: Naegi Makoto. He's not really the focus, so I'm not adding him to the character list!

“ _ I AM HINATA HAJIME!!! _ ”

That is what he’d said then. The Future Foundation’s version of hope, Junko Enoshima’s intoxicating despair… he rejected both of them. He was  _ not _ going to give up his friends’ bodies for Junko to control and he was  _ not _ going to wake up as Kamukura Izuru while the Future Foundation mess around with the friends he lost. He would be Hinata Hajime, and he and his friends were going to  _ create their own ending _ … 

...right?

It wasn’t that it was  _ easier  _ to say in the program, but now that he was outside of it, it was…  _ different. _

It became clear nothing would be the same as he listened and watched everyone around him.

He remembered everything: meeting everyone for the “first” time, Monokuma’s introduction of the game and their first motive, watching as the friends he made were killed, either by discovering their bodies or watching their executions, and then finding out how everything he thought he knew- his talent, his age, even his sense of  _ self _ \- was all a lie…, but finding a way to get past that and agreeing to move on to the future.

The others who woke up with him… Sonia, Souda, Owari, and Kuzuryuu… they didn’t remember that.

He was almost a stranger to them, save for being told about, and watching tapes of, relevant events that happened in the Neo World Program.

The person they had known him as, Kamukura Izuru, was the leader who they met only briefly, who communicated through messages rather than in person up until just before entering the Neo World Program. They didn’t  _ know _ Hinata Hajime, however thankful they may have been for what he had done while they were in the game.

It was  _ painful _ , even if he knew to expect this.

It was obvious they were  _ trying _ to include him in, but then they would discuss events and inside jokes, or talk about all the things they did as a class before remembering he wasn’t there with them. It would become awkward for him as he just listened to them talk about things he wasn’t around for. Sometimes they would notice, but he was good at covering it up and attempting to take more interest in their stories.

Logically, he  _ knew  _ that this is something to be expected, and that once they got to know him a little better, then things will fall into place. (He even knew how long it would take, actually, but he wasn’t going to acknowledge it. He’d been good at ignoring things he already knew these days).

However, even once they’ve finally seen him as more than just the person they  _ should _ know, but don’t, it won’t be the same- couldn’t be, not after all that they’ve went through. They’ve all matured, and their newfound regret after waking up from the Neo World Program no longer in Despair made them react a little differently from how they did in the program.

And he had changed, as well.

In the program, it was easy to separate himself from “Kamukura Izuru.” He had never  _ been _ Kamukura in the program because the program took his body’s self from right before entering Hope’s Peak Academy. It was a different story now.

He retained  _ all _ of his memories: his childhood memories, the few months he was a Reserve Course Student, and the years he spent as Kamukura Izuru in a constant cycle of boredom. And because he retained  _ everything, _ it was so very  _ difficult _ to deal with having emotions  _ and _ talents in the beginning, unable to control when either one happened. He wasn’t even really able to use both at the same time.

He was almost jealous of himself, for that almost month of ignorance. Waking up knowing you helped destroy the world even if you  _ could _ have stopped it, and having this conflict of it being your fault, but also not your fault… and realizing none of the others that woke up with you saw it the same way…

Was he lucky or unlucky to have retained every memory he lost, or should have lost?

The thought kept him up at night sometimes.

He’d been going to the pier staring at the ocean to deal with those sleepless nights, the sound of the waves giving him some background noise to chase away his thoughts.

About half an hour of him listening to the waves around him, he sensed someone walking towards the pier and turned around.

Naegi waved when he saw Hinata notice him, hastening his pace so that he could stand with Hinata at the end of the dock. He politely asked if he could join Hinata, and Hinata of course accepted. He got along pretty well with Naegi, and Naegi was always willing to help.

After exchanging pleasantries, Naegi brought up that Hinata looked sad. Was it the nightmares? The memories?

While Hinata did have problems with that (and all of them did, he knew. Being a part of a killing game was already enough of a nightmare to live through, let alone the nightmare that was the outside world), there was more to it than that.

It was easier to talk to Naegi about it, and by the time he was done, Naegi looked at him, not with pity, but understanding. While Naegi couldn’t fully empathize, he could still relate to how Hinata felt in other ways.

And he had some good points as well.

Hinata’s focus was that the friends he knew from the program weren’t exactly the same. They acted similarly enough, of course, and they  _ were _ the same people, but he focused so much on the differences and how well they knew each other.

He was also not letting them know the real him.  _ He _ wasn’t the same person, either. Just because he wanted to be “Hinata Hajime” didn’t mean that he couldn’t let himself change. And different… different did not mean bad.

“After all, Hinata-kun wants to create his own future, right?”

That was right… all of them agreed with him too, and it carried on beyond the program, even if they didn’t remember making that promise. What they suffered through, what they made others suffer through… they won’t be able to fix that, but they can still do the best they can, and carve their own futures.

There will be new memories to make together, after all.

Hinata looked at the darkness of the ocean. The future was like the open sea, he told Naegi. There were many places that he could go to, but just because he aims to go to one particular port, doesn’t mean that it was definitely where he’d land.

Naegi smiled at him, reassured Hinata would be okay, after all.

He then looked at the docked ship behind them. He’d been summoned by the Future Foundation, he said. They already gave him a warning while Hinata and the others were still in the game. While Naegi and his friends had been able to stall these past few days, just to try and help the survivors adjust and  _ maybe _ help find a way to wake up the rest, a meeting was finally called, and Naegi would be expected to be there.

Hinata couldn’t stop himself from predicting the outcomes. As a Remnant of Despair, he’d been aware of Yukizome’s activities. No one knew she was a part of their group as well, and was misleading the former chairman. Naegi would surely fall into a trap, but…

… Hinata already knew, warning him about any of it would simply lead to undesirable results. At least this way, he might be able to help Naegi and pay him back for his trust in him and his friends, even if they definitely didn’t deserve it.

Naegi, though he looked unsure of it, said that maybe if things went well, he’d be able to visit Hinata in time for his birthday. It was on New Year’s, right?

Hinata smiled. It was thoughtful of Naegi, but he  _ really _ should be more concerned about himself. Besides, he thought to himself, no matter what happens, Naegi will surely not be able to make it.

That was alright though, Hinata didn’t really feel like celebrating it. There was much too much to do.

… but,  _ maybe _ , once things settled down more, he’d be able to meet with Naegi again, just like this, but without the threats from the world to disturb them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -for many reasons, this chapter was emotionally difficult on me. It might have evoked some personal fears of mine, trying to interact with friends who've moved on to different interests. While they act the same, it's also not quite the same, and the distance grows... but that's a little different than what Hinata has to go through, right?  
> -I know of AUs where they remember everything, or AUs where they forgot everything (one of my favorite doujins was like that), but I wanted an AU where Hinata was the ONLY one who remembered what happened in the program, reasons probably have to do with how the Kamukura Project affcted his brain and how he handles amnesia (I mean, he was able to retain himself as Hajime while in the program).
> 
> I would really appreciated kudos or comments :)


End file.
